«Во мне будто взорвалась целая Вселенная»: большой пост n0tail

Фев 18 2019 4 min read

«Во мне будто взорвалась целая Вселенная»: большой пост n0tail ⚡⚡⚡ Игровые и киберспортивные новости, аналитика, обзоры, репортажи на WePlay! Самые актуальные новости!

You all know that life is a complicated thing. Ups, downs, feelings, passion, anger, love, hate, success, failure. Some believe that human destinies are engraved on the tablets, but there are those who will fight against the Universe to the very end. Human beings differ from animals in their ability to perceive reality, analyze what is happening around and feel complexed emotions.

Playing sports professionally means to give yourself completely for the benefit of the competition. Training, training, tournaments, start anew. It is unfair to assume that it is easier for athletes to live, especially for esportsmen. The feelings that a person feels in front of a monitor screen do not deviate from those experienced by a swimmer at the Olympic Games. The difference is only in the muscles involved. Failure can psychologically break, careless health handling can affect the level of performance skills. Sports is work, and in order to succeed you have to sacrifice.

What happens when you reach the peak of Everest? Does motivation disappear? On the contrary, a psychological boost happen? Will there be a desire to achieve greatness again and again and again? Lots of people — lots of situations. Johan felt that. After the victory, he began to wonder what he was doing in his life and how he would continue to move on. He earned a lot of money, won the main tournament of his discipline, he is considered one of the most successful players in the world. What's next? There's an answer.

Johan "n0tail" Sundstein has unexpectedly published a hefty post in TwitLonger, in which he spoke about the role of the Game in his life and shared his personal emotions with the audience. Text below. 

Where to start..
It's been a long time since I wrote something with the people on my mind who make all this possible, dota fans, OG fans, you the spectator.
I'm not as good with words as I'd like to be, and definitely no better at writing but at least you'll know I made this when it's full of errors.

2018 was my wildest year to date, I experienced things I never imagined, saw things I thought not possible and climbed the tallest mountain that I tried climbing over and over again to no avail.
Saying that, none of this would have been possible without the people sorrounding me. I've been blessed with a beautiful adventure so far and it all lies in the surroundings.

Back in 2008 I vividly remember a moment when I just got back from school, we had this community pool and the sun was shining as bright as it could in our Scandinavian climate. I felt something that day when i was swimming, as if the universe had hit me from the inside of my head. It was an overwhelming feeling of confidence, I felt I had the ability to reshape the universe, that nothing was impossible. Abseloute freedom.
TI was that feeling again, manifested in that tournament, in the game, in the team.
After winning TI I felt eveything I imagined plus so much more, but like the major wins it washed away a lot of self-doubt away only this time the doubt was not coming back.

DotA means so much to me, it's like the stepping stone into life that I didnt know I needed. It's a mirror into the soul, it's a language in itself and it has roots that extend deep into human nature. Thinking about the absolute beauty I've seen over the years make me choke up.

So post TI I took time to think about everything, I spent over a decade diving into this game and there I know there is more to life.
Should I stop? What should i do next if I stop? Why should I keep playing?
I don't think I'll ever stop looking at the game only if the game itself dissapears, but one day I'll definitely look to put more time working with something else.
The conclusion I have come to is I will play as long as the fire inside me burns. My purpose in life is to destroy the enemy ancient, show that our team's ideas are better and are executed better.
Dota is war, people coming together to defeat other people. To defend and conquer. Anger to fuel, Motivation to keep doing it, Love to make the teamwork, Patience, Courage and so much more.
I always loved the beauty in how a team would become successful, a group of people coming together with the purpose of winning the war, but there's no getting around the human aspects.
In other words,
To succeed you need to become a better teammate and a better human, and trust that everyone else will.
The will to win is powerful and I've seen people change themselves chasing the DotA dream.

Moving on..
I spent a lot of time self-reflecting last half year and I am trying to improve on other areas DotA didn't help me with, like physical health, environmental awareness and my relations to the people outside the game.
I'd love to do better on all three. but I hope for acceptance and patience as DotA is still my purpose in life.

I would like to thank my team, they know I love them but can never say it enough.
The people who cared for me and helped me even when I can't repay their time spent on me.
Everyone reading this, if you support us or the game and help make dreams come true thank you.
A huge thanks to Icefrog and the team behind DotA, from the bottom of my heart thank you for enlightening my life. 

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